Divorce

 Hey everyone!

This week’s topic in class was divorce and remarriage. To start out, I want to talk a bit about how divorce and it’s commonness has changed over the years. In the past, the only reason a couple could be divorced legally was if one of the “four A’s” applied to at least one of the partners. Those four A’s were Adultery, Alcoholism, Abuse, and I believe the last one was Addiction. Couples could not be divorced for reasons such as frequent arguments or not feeling compatible with one another anymore. I was interviewing my grandma about similar topics the other day for another class, and she said that divorce was very rare when she was growing up. None of her friends or classmates had parents who were divorced, and even when she was a young mother nearly all of her children’s friends had both parents in the home.  In today’s world, divorce is still a pretty long and messy process, but it can be done for many more reasons than before. I had many friends and classmates growing up whose parents were divorced and thought of it as kind of rare that my parents were still together. 

According to my professor, 70% of couples who have gotten a divorce say they could have and should have stayed together two years later. I think people often do not realize what they are signing themselves up for when they get married. Media like romance movies and novels often make finding the love of your life and falling in love seem like the hard part, with marriage being a breeze because you are finally living happily ever after. This can be very damaging to a marriage because in reality, it takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice to make and keep a successful marriage. My professor compared it to an escalator that is moving down. If we are not putting in the effort to constantly climb up, we will go down with it. Many people seem to think that it should be going up naturally and if it is going down there must be something wrong. I think that could definitely be a reason many people choose to get divorced. Then maybe in a second marriage they realize that marriage in general is just difficult and they probably could have worked it out the first time if they had known then. I have not experienced being married or divorced, so I obviously don’t know these things for sure, they are just my speculations based on what I’ve learned and the studies I’ve seen. 

One thing my professor mentioned in class that I thought was very insightful is that marriage is the relationship in which we have the most opportunity to become like our Heavenly Father. It requires two people to become very selfless and put each other’s needs before their own. We learn to truly see that person through the Savior’s eyes and for the potential they have. Serving them and making them happy becomes what brings us true joy. That is exactly what Christ has always asked us to do. John 21:15 says, “So when they had dined, Jesus saith unto Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.” Jesus Christ has done more for us than we can ever comprehend, and all He asks in return is that we love and care for each other. What better place to do that than in our marriages and families?