Dating

 I really enjoyed the topic we focused on in class this week and definitely learned a lot of new things! We talked about preparing for marriage and the critical role dating plays in that preparation. Going on actual dates provides quality time to get to know someone without being distracted by other things. I learned that there are three “p’s” that define an official date: planned, paid for, and paired off. I really like that description because it is simple and clear which is really helpful because it can be hard to tell what is considered a date sometimes. That way expectations are clear for both people and you don’t have as much stress of the unknown. You can just relax, have fun, and focus on getting to know someone new! Hanging out in a group of guys and girls can be super fun, but it does not provide the ideal atmosphere of getting to know and build a relationship with someone the way a well-planned date can.

Another aspect that greatly influences dating is how well two people are able to talk to and get to know each other. An easy way to remember the most important things when getting to know a person is togetherness, talk, and time. Togetherness means having shared experiences, and a variety of dates can help you to see different sides of that person. If you do the same thing every time you’re with someone, you’re probably only seeing one side of them. Talk includes being somewhat open and vulnerable with someone in talking about your feelings, opinions, or experiences. This is what allows us to build a relationship and feel close to a person. Time is a really important factor as well because you can’t truly know a person if you met them only a week ago! I listened to a podcast called “The Art of Conversation” by Judy Apps, and she put a lot of emphasis on the importance of listening when having a conversation. She said we often get so caught up on and worried about what we are going to say next that we forget to pause and genuinely listen. That is the part that helps us to connect and build a relationship with the person we are talking to. 

I knew before that dating is really important in getting to know someone and finding a spouse, but I hadn’t thought about the importance of continuing to date after you are married or engaged to keep the relationship thriving. I think my parents do a really great job of that. They go on dates often where they are able to spend time with just the two of them and I think that is a big part of why their marriage is so strong. Who knew there were so many benefits of dating?? It makes me want to go on more dates hahaha. I want to wrap up by sharing a quote by President Oaks in his talk “Dating vs. Hanging Out”. He said, “Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to “shop around” in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects. The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out.” That perfectly sums up everything I’ve talked about today! And it’s important to remember that dates don’t have to be super elaborate or expensive. Just put a little creativity into it and it’ll be great!