Family Roles

 Hey everyone!

It’s been a great week of learning up here in Rexburg! The idea I found most interesting was that each member of a family has a role to play. One of the articles I read to prepare for class mentioned four roles kids may play in the family. It was really interesting to me noticing the way some of the characteristics it explained rang very true with my sisters and I, while others didn’t seem to at all. It said the oldest is the “hero” in that this child is generally the caretaker of the rest of the younger siblings and that they tend to do well academically. The second child is the “delinquent”. These children usually have a hard time because the oldest seems to get a lot of attention from the parents, so they seek that attention in different ways from the oldest. The third child is the “invisible child. They try to keep a low profile because they want to lessen the tension within the family as a whole. The fourth child is the “clown”. These children attempt to use humor to lessen the tension in family issues.

As the oldest in the family, I agree that I played the role of caretaker at times, especially as I got older and my mom needed help with my siblings. However, my sisters and I all have been very academically driven throughout our school years, so that hasn’t necessarily been an oldest child trait in our family. It’s pretty funny to me that the second child is described as the delinquent. I don’t think my next sister, Eve, would be very happy with that, haha. She hasn’t been one to act out in a negative way to get attention, but from what I’ve observed she shows a lot of her personality and gets a lot of positive attention that way which I think can kind of go along those same lines. I think it’s kind of hard for the second child in a family sometimes because they don’t just want to be a copy of their older brother or sister, so they try to find their own path. Nia, the third child in my family, is very sweet and caring. I think what the book said about her position is true in the way that she tends to be a peacemaker in the family. What is different is that we often joke that she's our dad’s favorite because she gets really good grades, is involved in a lot of cool things, and always goes the extra mile. I think she plays the role of “hero” and is far from invisible in that way. Anna is the fourth and I think the role of the clown fits her very well in that she often interacts with everyone else in the family through humor. She’s hilarious! In a similar way to Nia, she seems to dislike conflict and tries to be a peacemaker or at least not add to the conflict in most cases.

It has been really interesting learning about the roles family members play and how they all need to play their part in order for the family to function. My professor told a story in class about his friend that I found super interesting. His friend would act out all the time in his adolescence, and later explained that he did it because it brought his parents closer together. When he behaved well, his parents would fight more often, but when he acted out they had to work together to solve whatever issues his behavior caused. He didn’t like acting out or doing those things, but it made him feel good when his parents got along so he kept doing them. It goes to show the extent some family members will go to keep their families in balance. In my future family I really want to be very close with my husband because I know it will help my whole family to be closer together!